VISCERAL FEAR

For a strong stand with Nirbhaya(Jyoti Singh) and the innumerable others.

My eyes darted left and right
As I absorbed my environment,
Men and women in crowds
Gathered to watch the show
And instead of concentrating
On the magician who was
To entertain us in this open ground,
I nervously observed the sickly
Man who had an itch on his leg;
And the boy behind me,
Who Hooted as the magician let go
Of a dozen doves from his hat
Smiled at me as he clapped
Energetically. After the show, I boarded
A train back to the hostel, the women’s compartment – my only haven.
I eyed the manager’s husband loitering
Near the front desk, 3:00 p.m. and
Absolutely isolated, and my hand
Reached into my purse where I
Held onto the pepper spray I had
bought from the local store, for safety.
I double-locked the door to my room
Collapsed on the bed, and replayed
The day I had spent today. Tears rolled
Down my cheek as I realized
The weight of sublime trepidation
I carried on my shoulders;
The city of dreams they called it,
But to me, it was one run down with
Greed, fear, and most of all, lust.
Theaters, markets, parades, were
All nothing more than opportunistic
Events to me. I said a silent prayer for
All those victims I read about
In the Times of India everyday and I
Slept a tiring sleep.